Tips on Roommates
- Adam Garrett
- Apr 24, 2023
- 1 min read
Updated: May 31, 2024
I looked online for finding roommates & tips on roommates and there is some great information out there, but I felt that some significant items were missing from each. Keep in mind that I am not an attorney and that attorneys are best consulted in the interpretation of the law. Laws change over time, so it's best to check the links for the most current law when the law is cited.
Where to Find Roommates
1. Roomster.com - 76 roommates in Hampton & no profile creation needed to search. There's also a solid app version. You should start your search here.
2. Roommates.com - 10 "matches" in Hampton to the free profile I created with limited option to see all matches until you create a profile (4-15 minutes)
Roommates.com Fees as of 4/24/23
"Basic membership is free. Basic members can add listings, browse matches, and send direct messages. In order to read messages received from other members, one must upgrade to VIP Membership. Fees for VIP Membership are as follows: $5.99 for a 3-day trial, $19.99 for 30 days, and $29.99 for 60 days. A recurring monthly membership is available for $15.99 per month and renews automatically. Roommates may occasionally offer discounts. All fees are non-refundable, even if you cancel before the expiration of your VIP Membership. If you do cancel your account before your VIP Membership expires, your VIP Membership will remain active until the expiration of the original VIP Membership upgrade period.
We also offer a verification service, provided through Stripe, Inc., for $2.99 if you are not a monthly member. All verification data from this service is provided by Stripe, Inc. and we have no control over the data, questions, or other information provided through this service. Stripe, Inc. is solely responsible for the accuracy and completeness of the verification service. The $2.99 fee is non-refundable whether or not the verification process is successfully completed.
We also offer phone number verification services through Twilio, Inc. You agree that any and all phone, data, and SMS charges that result from the use of this verification service are at your own expense. We are not responsible for any charges incurred by you through your phone or internet service provider."
3. Craigslist.org - 5 "matches" in Hampton; No requirement to create a profile to see matches.
Fee-free for housing wanted posts, housing offered posts, and contacting those who have posted.
Craigslist has no "roommate" option in the nearest Craigslist to me but has some highly related concepts in the "housing" section. Here's how to search for roommates.
apts / housing
housing swap
housing wanted
rooms wanted
vacation rentals
To create a search specific to Hampton, I used their map feature and used a search that would include all of Hampton even though it includes some other locations too:
Image courtesy Craigslist
In that search on Craigslist, here's an example of what popped up when searching for "roommate"
Image courtesy Craigslist
Under "sublets and temporary" there were no local results in the same radius.
4. Facebook.com
You won't find a roommate section in their Classifieds, but you will find some viable roommate groups, i.e.:
Virginia Beach Roommates: Rooms For Rent, Apartments, and Rentals
Norfolk, Virginia- Housing, Apartments, Rooms, Sublets, Roommates
Virginia Beach Housing, Rooms, Apartments, Sublets, Roommates
Rooms for Rent, Share, Lease, Sub-let in Richmond, Virginia (VA) Area
Virginia Beach, Virginia Apartments, Subleases, Rentals, Roommates, Homes
Go to Marketplace
Select "Property Rentals"
Select "Private Room Only"
Tips Before Starting a Search
I am not an attorney, not providing legal advice, laws listed can change over time, & it's best to consult an attorney regarding any legal matters below for anything not provided in quotes from government sources.
Keep in mind that I am not an attorney and that attorneys are best consulted in the interpretation of the law. Laws change over time, so it's best to check the links for the most current law when the law is cited.
Get familiar with state & local law.
It's also a good idea to know local law to be able to spot things that would be against the law & not break the law yourself. You wouldn't want your advertising or selection process to land you with a criminal record unintentionally, and you wouldn't want your room share interrupted by a requirement to stop it and a criminal record from something that you didn't know was breaking the law. In some cases, laws are very different for discrimination when renting out a shared space vs renting out a separate space that you won't occupy. For instance, in VA, I can say that I don't want to rent out to women for my shared space, but I can't do that if I was not living in the property. Whether renting out a shared space or a separate space, it would be illegal, unbiblical (for those like myself where that matters), and unethical to state (or implement in practice without saying a word) that I didn't want to rent out rooms to another race.
Often cities will have codes about how many unrelated people can live in a home that is zoned for single-family & in some cases the city/county won't even allow it in attached homes even by the owner (i.e. York County, VA as of the date of publication). The type of people that can live in a room together is also often regulated by law, such as the number of people in 1 room per square foot and the age of the occupants of the room.
For instance, in VA there are laws like:
"Children over the age of two years shall not share a bed.
G. Children over the age of two shall not share a bedroom with an adult unless the local department approves and documents a plan to allow the child to sleep in the adult's bedroom due to documented needs, disabilities, or other specified conditions. Children of any age cannot share a bed with an adult.
H. Children of the opposite sex over the age of three shall not sleep in the same room.
I. Children under age seven or children with significant and documented cognitive or physical disabilities shall not use the top bunk of bunk beds."
That said, according to DPOR regarding fair housing in VA, "Housing providers should also not dictate in which bedrooms younger children of different sexes sleep, as this is a parental matter."
Be familiar with fair housing law in the US & exceptions.
Throughout the US, the Federal Fair Housing Act " In very limited circumstances, the Act exempts owner-occupied buildings with no more than four units, single-family houses sold or rented by the owner without the use of an agent, and housing operated by religious organizations and private clubs that limit occupancy to members."
Race & color are illegal to discriminate against even if otherwise exempt.
The Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination in housing because of:
Race
Color
National Origin
Religion
Sex (including gender identity and sexual orientation)
Familial Status
Disability"
There is an exception for shared living spaces where you can discriminate based on sex as an owner renting out rooms from where you live. There is no exception for shared living spaces for discrimination based on race or color.
Be familiar with fair housing law in your state (VA in my case) & exceptions.
See the Virginia Fair Housing Law in the code of Virginia.
As section B of § 36-96.2. Exemptions states, "Except for subdivision A 3 of § 36-96.3, this chapter shall not apply to rooms or units in dwellings containing living quarters occupied or intended to be occupied by no more than four families living independently of each other, if the owner actually maintains and occupies one of such living quarters as his residence."
Section A 3 referenced above is regarding advertising primarily, & states, "Make, print, or publish, or cause to be made, printed, or published any notice, statement, or advertisement, with respect to the sale or rental of a dwelling that indicates any preference, limitation, or discrimination or an intention to make any such preference, limitation, or discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, elderliness, familial status, source of funds, sexual orientation, gender identity, military status, or disability. The use of words or symbols associated with a particular religion, national origin, sex, or race shall be prima facie evidence of an illegal preference under this chapter that shall not be overcome by a general disclaimer. However, reference alone to places of worship, including churches, synagogues, temples, or mosques, in any such notice, statement, or advertisement shall not be prima facie evidence of an illegal preference;"
Protected classes in VA (but different in all states) under normal circumstances include:
Race
Color
Religion
National Origin
Sex (exception for shared living spaces where you can discriminate based on sex)
Elderliness
Familial Status
Disability
Source of Funds
Sexual Orientation
Gender Identity
Military Status
Know who you're looking for in advance.
Have parameters in mind for who you are looking for in advance, with preferences and requirements in advance. In addition to considerations in the due diligence section below, consider if you'd be ok with sharing a room with someone of the opposite gender or the same gender. Be sure though that you're abiding by the law, as described in more detail elsewhere. When posting and when selecting, be sure to not engage in illegal discrimination by knowing the laws well.
You may want to take one or more personality type (Brickunderground) tests & consider lifestyle choices prior to looking for a roommate, which can tell you in some cases who you would be most compatible with, even if the source is regarding dating compatibility. Here is a list of 10 incompatible Myers-Briggs types. Here is a list of more compatible Myers-Briggs types. If it's the same personality type, it's often going to be compatible, although 2 J's can but heads at times just like a J & a P can but heads.
Read the book "Boundaries".
"Boundaries" by Henry Cloud is written from a Christian perspective, and for Christians, it's a fantastic book for a wide variety of boundary setting, especially geared towards those who are "too nice". Even for those who aren't Christians, it still has some excellent thoughts to share that have universal application. Whether you're a roommate, landlord, or tenant, it's a must read for Christians, and I am not aware of a comparable book that is not Christian. It doesn't go in depth into roommates, but the concepts are over-arching and critical to understand for roommates who find themselves getting taken advantage of too often.
Other Tips Mid Search
Be safe with your roommate selection.
Consider safety as well when considering a roommate.
Do a background check on them and a credit check.
If you have valuables or weapons, where will you keep them?
Will your roommate be OK with you having 1 or more security cameras if you'd prefer that? Will they be ok with you having alarms on the door with a security code required?
Do you have any children? A very high % of rape & sexual assaults are perpetrated by males. Often those who perpetrate it have been victims themselves and they are more likely to have criminal histories.
Be sure to check to see if they are in the sex offender registry.
Be safe with your property selection.
There are a number of ways to check to see if the location is safe, such as methods of ingress and egress from the bedroom in the event of a fire, as well as the presence of working smoke & carbon monoxide alarms.
For crime, check Crimegrade & Spotcrime before viewing a property in person. Some residents prefer a gated community with security on site for enhanced crime protection. Some like cameras by the community in common areas, while others would consider that an invasion of privacy. Be sure to check to see if anyone nearby is in the sex offender registry, especially if you have small children.
At the property, look for prior signs of forced entry, and look for the ease with which someone might break in. For instance, I've seen where a small single-pane window was broken, which gave the person access to the door handle and locks to enter the property. Conversely, if a keyed deadbolt was present in that situation rather than a different door configuration, it would have presented a fire hazard.
Advertise online & look online for options.
Many of the locations where you can post about looking for a roommate are places where you can also look for ads from others.
If you have a large social media presence, or even if you have social media without a large presence, reach out to your friends on your profile or via message. If you don't have social media at all, you can always still reach out to others via call or text.
Interview & Finalizing Tips
Meet in person, & if possible, spend some time together.
Per Wikihow, "Meet up in person. Never agree to a living situation without meeting up in person first. You want to make sure there's good chemistry and the person doesn't seem unsafe or unfriendly. Meet up in a neutral location, like a coffee shop, and talk over your expectations for things like chores, bills, and so on.
If you're showing your apartment, meet up at a neutral location first before bringing over the potential roommate. It's a good idea to have a friend or family member in the apartment with you for safety."
With whatever roommate you choose, do your due diligence.
Generally speaking, be sure to do a high level of due diligence before renting a room with someone else, especially if they have no reviews. Even if you know someone, you don't really know them until you live with them. It's a good idea to check for things like their credit, criminal record, family status, income level, debt to income ratio, eviction history, do they smoke, do they drink, do they do drugs, how much of each they do, what are their work hours, when do they typically sleep, when do they typically get in, etc. If possible, it's nice to see their current space as well, looking for things like their cleanliness. It's also a good idea to ask them about rules that each person can agree on like chores around the house. Also, ask why they're looking for a new place (Wikihow).
Get an agreement in writing.
It's best to get a shared room arrangement in writing, with rules that all parties are willing to abide by established in advance.
Get them onto a lease or sublease agreement (US News).
"In addition to financial responsibilities regarding rent and bills, have loose agreements about having friends over, parties, and chores. Having a roommate contract to refer to can prevent arguments down the road (Wikihow)."
Once Rented
Enforce the agreement previously established.
It's important to be forthright with any roommate who isn't holding up their end of the bargain. Likewise, it's important to be a good roommate and do the same. Be ready to enforce an agreement, because if you don't, and you don't have anyone else to hold the other person accountable, it's possible that no one will and that you'll continue to have problems throughout your tenure together. Don't let things get to the boiling point where you are ready to leave without ever having addressed things with your roommate in a forthright fashion long before then. You would be doing both yourself and them a disservice.
See also "Boundaries" in tips before starting search.
Revise the agreement as needs arise.
While you don't want to just let the other person change everything in a way that is not in your favor, when you find mutually beneficial changes to the agreement, don't be too hesitant to make changes in writing that you both sign off on.
Related:
About the Author: Adam Garrett - 3rd Generation REALTOR®
Adam is the 3rd generation in a line of award-winning real estate agents serving SE VA. He has served full time at Garrett Realty Partners since May 2014 when he joined the marketing department before transitioning to full-time sales to assist buyers and sellers in February 2015. He believes that an educated buyer or seller makes the best decisions, & is dedicated to helping with that both digitally & on-site physically for buyers & sellers. He's also available for referrals to real estate agents around the globe. In several capacities, his resources & direct offerings for assisting sellers & assisting buyers are either unmatched or are top 1% for the SE VA area, and in some cases, nationwide. Not stopping after closing, he also provides information for tenants, landlords, & homeowners.
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